LIVING
LIVING
NOVEMBER 2009
MORE ANIMAL TALES:
Our neighbors, whom I would
not describe as being the most sensitive of people, acquired
some hens during the summer and when they didn’t produce the
required number of eggs, they decided to branch out into the
cockerel business; not just one but eight!! And these birds seem
to have no concept of socially acceptable crowing behavior; they
crow at 1am, 4am, 5am, 3pm and 5pm, basically they crow
continuously throughout human sleeping hours.
I suspect they are being
fattened in preparation for a pre-Christmas slaughter and
despite their annoying habits, I don’t think I could willingly
enjoy feasting on one, nor do I wish this fate on them; they are
after all, quite interesting to observe and they are also quite
attractive to look at.
Some months ago, I was in the
garden at 6am surveying the mess created by three children and
two dogs when I happened to spy a perfect egg at the base of one
of my mulberry trees; at its side was a tiny white, solitary
feather. No hen was to be seen in the immediate vicinity and I
scrutinized the tree and immediate area for the presence of a
chicken but found nothing! I gingerly picked up the egg and for
a fleeting moment, imagined perhaps my neighbor had placed it
there as a peace offering but why there? and wouldn’t it be
easier to just give it to me?
I placed the mystery egg in my
fridge and forgot about it.
That night, I was about to
switch off the front garden light when I spied an odd-shaped,
ominous object slumped at the corner of my front path, just
inside the gate. On closer inspection, I froze when I realized
that it was infect a small white dead chicken. Logic told me
that this was not a gift from my neighbor and was more likely to
be a cosseted acquisition reserved for a midnight feast by our
female dog, an honorary member of MENSA. Had she been able to
speak, I am sure she would have explained how this stupid
chicken flew over the wall and perched itself at the base of the
mulberry tree and snuggled into the warmth of the soil and
vegetation where it laid an egg. Unaware of the predatory nature
of our female dog and her particular penchant for chicken, it
was probably oblivious to the swift swoop of murder since there
was little sign of a struggle. Our bright, cunning, canine
creature then had the sense to hide the chicken from her rather
dim but lovable brother until the night when he is always tied
since this is when he scales the wall in pursuit of female
conquests. She hadn’t allowed though for the inquisitive nature
of her female owner! It was 1am and I hissed to Mr. L to come
out to help me with a problem in the garden. I needed him to
help me dispose of the corpse. Reluctantly, he tore himself away
from the TV and emerged with a plastic bin-liner. I scooped the
cumbersome, floppy creature onto a spade and dropped it into the
bag and since I was the driver, I insisted Mr. L held the bag
out of the car window whilst we located a suitable rubbish
container.
Meanwhile, the cocks are
crowing as loudly as possible, Mr. L is positively insomnic as
are most of our neighbors except the owners, who are mostly away
basking in the bliss of ignorance.
Alison Lorentzos
copyright 2009
